One Black Man's Desire to Understand Another's Ideology Led 200 KKK Members to Hang Up Their Robes.
He sought, first, to understand, rather than to be understood.
What’s commonly known as the Saint Francis Prayer, or Peace Prayer, has a wonderful line in it: “Grant that I may seek, first, to understand, rather than to be understood.”
It’s a marvelous prayer, and if you’ve ever tried practicing that line, you know it’s hard. We prefer to be heard and understood first, don’t we?
It turns out, however, that the curiosity and insatiable desire of one African American man to seek first to understand the what and why of the Ku Klux Klan opened up the minds of hundreds of white men who were in the clutches of one of the largest racist and hate groups in the U.S., perhaps the world.
It also led over two hundred Klansmen to turn in their robes and quit the KKK. Many even gave Daryl their robes as a sign of friendship and honor. How in the world could that happen?
It all began with a simple question.
“How can you hate me when you don’t even know me?”
Daryl Davis, a musician, author, and activist has traveled the world playing the keyboards, sometimes with many of the all-time great musicians, such as Chuck Berry. He’s been seen with presidents of the US, from Richard Nixon to Bill Clinton, written a book, and accidentally become an activist.
Ever since he was 10 years old, he couldn’t understand why white people, such as those in the Klan could hate him. He’d often ask, “How can you hate me when you don’t even know me?”
In 1983, a chance meeting and conversation in a country western bar with a Klan member led Daryl down the path of writing a book about the iconic racist organization.
Yep, a black man wanted to write a book about the KKK. And that black man earnestly wanted to understand their ideology and where the impetus for such hate originated, which would mean a lot of interviews with Klan members.
… and that’s what he set out to do.
Early on.
Daryl wanted to interview as many key members of the Klan as possible. So, his secretary began the process by arranging a meeting with the Grand Dragon in Maryland, Roger Kelly, who later became the Imperial Wizard (chief racist of the state) but left out one detail when requesting the meeting with Roger: Daryl was black.
So, here we are. A leader of the top racist group, the Klan, was about to meet with a black man in a hotel room - but didn’t know he was black.
Let’s pause for a minute and think about what was about to happen - and what Daryl was about to do.
Weeks before getting the interview, Daryl had been told by other Klan members that Roger Kelly hated black people and thought they were inferior to whites. Daryl wanted to interview him anyway. He was told Roger would kill him if he got in close proximity to him. Daryl requested a meeting anyway. He’d been told a whole array of things about the Klan and Roger Kelly. He met with him anyway.
That’s astonishing! It certainly took a lot of nerve and courage… and something much greater.
On that day in the hotel room when Daryl and Roger met face-to-face, as expected, there was initial shock! An awkwardness. Both men were uncomfortable, edgy and on high alert. In the room were Daryl and Roger, Roger’s gun-carrying bodyguard, who was always by his side, and Daryl’s secretary. Neither Daryl nor his secretary were packing.
As Daryl and Roger sat across from each other, there was a point in which there was an unfamiliar noise that scared all four people in the room. Their eyes got big. Their muscles tensed up. And the guard was reaching for his gun. Neither party knew what the sound was but thought something bad was about to happen. Mentally, both Daryl and Roger were going into attack mode.
Then… they realized the noise was only ice falling in an ice bucket — and they all burst into laughter. A loud laughter of relief.
It was from that point, they began a dialogue that lasted for years and evolved into a close friendship. One where they even began sharing the dinner table at each other’s homes. Soon, Roger even invited Daryl to Klan rallies, which he accepted. And yep, that means cross-burning rallies too.
Can you imagine being the only black man at a Klan rally? That takes some big kahunas!
And to top that, he wasn’t a guest of just an average member, but a guest of Roger Kelly, the Imperial Wizard of Maryland. The chief racist of the entire state.
At this point, Roger and Daryl were good friends. They were meeting fairly regularly. They’d spend a lot of time talking about many topics. Daryl would listen to Roger, and Roger would listen to Daryl. Some matters they’d agree on but many they would not. Through this process, combined with time, they developed tremendous respect for each other. So much so, that Roger’s grip on his belief system of hating the black man began loosening. Shifting. And simply, changing. Something special must have happened in all their time together. Because Roger eventually quit the Klan! He was the big dawg - and he quit.
And the kicker is this: Roger gave his Imperial Wizard robe to Daryl. Yep. As a token of friendship and honor, Roger not only quit the Klan but gave his once-treasured status robe to the very man who represented everything he hated and fought against all his life.
And Roger is not the only one. Daryl engaged with and became friends with many Klansmen over the years. Over two hundred ended up quitting the Klan related to their friendship and meetings with Daryl. Many also gave Daryl their robes.
Wow!
How can that happen?
It all began with a sincere desire to understand the so-called enemy. He sought, first, to understand, rather than to be understood.
Daryl was curious. He wanted to understand how someone could hate another person when they didn’t even know them. Daryl was on a mission, and he led by seeking understanding. He cared enough to listen without trying to convert them, giving them a platform to speak and share their ideology. And he listened. Really listened.
In a video at one of the rallies, Roger is seen pointing at Daryl while addressing the Klan members saying, “My friend Daryl and I don’t agree on everything, but I respect him because he’ll sit down and listen to me. He respects me too because I’ll listen to him.”
Keep in mind, that was at a Klan rally in front of a hundred or more Klansmen.
Daryl says that he never set out to change anybody.
But over time, they began rethinking their ideology. And as they got to know Daryl, they came to realize African Americans are not as they were taught as children.
Remember the first chance encounter back in 1983? That particular white man, at least forty years old, had never sat down with a black man before in his entire life. Very hard to believe, especially in 1983. But it’s true. So, you can imagine how having simple conversations over time and becoming friends would change belief systems.
Daryl says, “You don’t change the system without changing the people behind the system.”
And adds, “I never set out to change anybody, but over time, they began rethinking their ideology.” Daryl would listen to them, then respectfully disagree and share his opinion or ideology. Throughout many conversations, Klan members began to realize their belief systems were off. They had been misinformed or, simply, misunderstood the realities of people of color.
My key takeaway.
My key takeaway from this story is that great things can happen when we have a sincere desire to understand others’ ideologies or points of view — and then simply listen without trying to convert them. Beginning with common ground, then respectfully listen, then share, and then listen some more. It sounds easy, but we all know that it’s not. But it can be done. This story is proof of that.
Up until a few weeks ago, I had never heard of Daryl or his story, but evidently, he’s been all over the news for years. He’s been a guest on podcasts, had a documentary created about him, and he’s been a guest on many talk shows. He’s a big deal. And now… he’s one of my new heroes! The dude rocks!
Think on this:
How can this apply in your life?
More stories and information on Daryl Davis are below:
Daryl Davis website, The Guardian article,
TED exCapeMay:
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Thank you, David!
A great piece of work! Very well written and informative