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As I was interviewing Executive Chair and inventor, Kari Warberg Block, the other day, she said something I may never forget: “What if the universe is doing this FOR ME, rather than TO ME?” It’s a line that came to her during a transitional period in her life, which eventually led to a breakthrough invention that changed an entire industry.
How many of us respond to life events as if it’s being done TO US? Think about it. Ask yourself: When such and such happened, did I have a sense that it was being done TO me? Did it feel like I was being punished in any way whatsoever? Be honest with yourself.
It’s core stuff. It’s the old, “Be a good boy or girl, and you’ll be rewarded. If you’re bad, you’ll be punished, put in a time-out, privileges taken away, shamed, or worse, go to Hell.” It sounds simplistic, but I encourage you to go deeper with it.
For some of us, it was embedded in our religion, others in our family systems, or both. Regardless, when bad things happen to us, it feels like God, the universe, or something bigger than us is punishing us in some way, big or small.
Growing up in these environments, which most of us did, plants the seed of victimhood. We respond to life and events and people and bosses from the deep subconscious level of a victim. It becomes our default because it’s ingrained in our subconscious.
It’s not good or bad, it just is.
On a personal note, I’ve spent many years letting go of my victim mentality. But evidently, there’s more. As I go through another transition in life, I discovered, once again, there’s more to uncover and discard.
My Life experiences have been a series of discovery, uncovering, and discarding. The peeling back of layer after layer after layer.
Obviously, this quote is simply changing one’s perspective — nothing more. Right?
Yet, it has a profound effect on us!
As I started thinking about it, the visual that came to me was this:
It’s as if I’m facing one direction. Then, I turn around 180 degrees to face the opposite direction. I see a whole new world that I could NOT have seen before turning around. A whole new set of doors — a whole new set of opportunities, all because I turned around. It’s almost magical!
It feels EMPOWERING! And the idea of being exposed to new ideas and opportunities is invigorating.
I don’t know about you, but I have a sense of a shift: going from being a victim to feeling empowered. I ask myself, if God or the universe is doing this FOR ME, what in it can I find opportunity? How can I benefit from this experience?
I’ve had many bad things happen to me in my life, as I’m sure most people have. BUT… what if I choose to see those apparent bad things as God doing FOR ME? It’s like my wife says regarding job applications, “Their rejection is God’s protection.” I would have no way of knowing what I’m getting into with a company as an applicant. Perhaps God knows and is protecting me from bad managers, etc.
I encourage you to sit with this idea for a moment. Perhaps — take a deep breath, close your eyes, and go within. Then, for the next two weeks or so, observe your thoughts and explore your feelings when something transpires that you don’t like, or that feels like punishment. Then say to yourself, “I am mad about what just happened to me. NOW, what if I treat it as something good and helpful, a gift that will help me? Like the universe is doing this FOR ME rather than punishing me.
As I have been doing this, ideas pop up that I would not have thought about before. Good ideas. I feel empowered rather than punished. Then as one door opens, more doors open, and continue to open. Also, and this is important, there is a “flow” that wasn’t there before. It’s a very interesting process. As I said before, it’s kind of magical what happens.
So, we’ll end as we began: What if the universe is doing this FOR YOU, rather than TO YOU?
Explore it. Observe it. And play with it. See where it takes you, and see what happens. Treat it like an experiment.
Eddie
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The Importance of Belonging: Why Feeling Like We Belong Matters More Than We Realize
As I interviewed the founder and CEO of EarthKind, Kari Warberg Block, the topic of belonging came up, and its importance, especially in today’s society. It got me thinking…
This reminded me of my dad’s passing three years ago. One year before his passing, on Father’s Day, when we didn’t know cancer was getting ready to devour him, I told my dad in an email, that I wrote to him, a poem for Father’s Day that I would do something for myself, become a somebody one day.
After all, he had bestowed upon me good education and allowed me to enjoy the ability to work in a job that suited my qualifications and brought in a lot of cash.
But I had chosen to quit when I got married and decided to settle down in this country telling myself I would go back to work as soon as I got settled well.
It never happened.
I didn’t have any support system here in raising my boys and I decided that I couldn’t handle work and home together and so I decided until a more opportune moment came by.
It never did.
Three years ago my dad passed away from cancer.
I had forgotten all about my poem to him as well.
But only because of his passing, when I felt orphaned, I understood that I needed a job and a career as well to sustain myself.
I had to lose him to understand reality.
Today I have applied for college to do my masters.
I can see my promise taking shape in its own time.
And without much effort on my part except for the occasional nudge in the right direction by the closing of many doors.
Your advice is good.
Thanks for sharing that.
Keep writing.
I absolutely love it!
I love this perspective. It's a good reminder for me! Thank you.